i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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