I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just got carded by a ten year old.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
