I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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