Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
