Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
