i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
