Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
