his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
