Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You were trust falling into bushes
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
