Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
People in love make me want to vomit
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
