ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
