Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
