I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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