Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
