I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We were destined to go to rehab together
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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