we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My dick has a subreddit
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
