We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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