i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
