Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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