well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
