What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
