We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
