I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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