I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
