We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
