I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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