you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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