If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
