Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
