U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Church boner. Awkwardddd
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
