You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
