I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
