So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
