So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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