am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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