Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
