Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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