wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
