I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
