Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
