We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Blood and glitter go together right?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
