Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
