a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
