i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
