I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
