I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
