Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
