One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
