The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
