R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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