One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
